individuals wife

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Posts by individuals wife

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  22

  the internet, does it really matter??

  by astra in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hi, i have been following some of the discussions about the internet and jw.

  some people think that it seems to make a big difference, that it will seriously reduce wts ranks because people get access to all sorts of information and because they can get in contact with people who maybe have the same doubts and thoughts as themselves.. but how big a difference do you think that the net is making?

  how many people do you think have withdrawns from jw because of infomation or contact achieved over the net?.

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  individuals wife

  Astra - first of all - welcome to the board, good to have you here!

  As for the internet, I think as time goes by it will become more and more evident that the information to be found here will cause more and more JWs to examine their faith, if they dare look...

  Personally I did not really look to the internet for information on the society until I had doubts anyway. I used it to research things that I already felt were not quite correct, once you start looking it is startling what you can find.

  It is interesting to note the decline in publisher/baptism figures for the past year, the figures certainly seem to suggest that in countries where internet access is more readily available there is a downturn. It will be interesting to follow the figures in years to come.

  A loyal JW would be bound to say that the internet has not made a difference, yet the society is clearly worried - this is apparent by the warnings in the magazines and from the platform. I would imagine that the disassociation letters that are being received lately state a lot of facts collated from the internet, the society must be very aware of where the information is coming from.

  The internet may not have caused me to leave the organisation but the information that I have found here since will ensure that I never return.

  Welcome once again!
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  10

  Shepherding Calls and Depression

  by KSJordan in

  1. watchtower
  2. medical

  when we lived in west helena, arkansas, the elders would only make their "shepherding calls" when the circuit overseer was down to visit.

  they would give my mom pat answers like "the new sytem will be here soon" and "you don't know what problems really are, my pipes busted last week", etc.

  one elder really did want to help us it seemed, but he was prevented by the other elders who told him "we knoe them better than you do, we will handle it".

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  individuals wife

  I can relate to the problems associated with the elders calling, when they have no real help or advice to offer to those who are depressed and need help.

  In total agreement with you there, had a sheperding call once when we were a bit irregular at the meetings - the elder came with an agenda all planned out, he had his article all ready to read and his comments laid out in front of him. He did not come to discuss any problems we might be having, he was only interested in delivering his little speech. After he left we felt very deflated and not at all 'spiritually fed'.

  Anyway, good to have you here with us KS, it is a very refreshing place to be and you will find lots of support here.
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  Suitable Companions?

  by individuals wife in

  1. social
  2. family

  just a bit confused over the situation with my kids........ to explain briefly...... i da'd last november, my husband no longer attends.

  i am shunned completely, my husband is not completely, many still talk to him.. my previous jw friends allow their children to play with ours, we all live in close proximity to each other.

  their children still talk to me, i still talk to them (when unobserved!).

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  individuals wife

  Just a bit confused over the situation with my kids.......

  To explain briefly.....

  I da'd last November, my husband no longer attends. I am shunned completely, my husband is not completely, many still talk to him.
  My previous JW friends allow their children to play with ours, we all live in close proximity to each other. Their children still talk to me, I still talk to them (when unobserved!). My previous JW friends have invited my children into their homes yet their children have been forbidden from entering our home. One JW lad has said to my daughter that if the elders ask about their friendship - he will deny it and say that he does not speak to any of us.

  Seems all very mixed up to me........
  What sort of messages is this sending out to the poor kids?
  And should I be wary about what the JWs may say to my kids when they are in their company?

  What do you reckon - would it be a shame to break up the childrens friendships just because of the differences of the parents or would it serve as a protection for them?
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  7

  What the ......Hell?

  by JennyNuk in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hello, this is technically my first post, i have been a fly on the wall for some time now.

  i would like to explain my delima but first i have to fill in some gaps.

  sorry to bore you with details but a brief history seems needed.

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  individuals wife

  A big welcome to you Jenny, good to have you here!

  I was very moved by your account, the pain of losing someone you love is one of the hardest things to bear, especially when they are so young. I remember when my father died at the age of 41 a relative told me that God always takes the good ones early and He must have a special purpose in Heaven for the one that died, not much consolation.

  As for the 'ghostly' presences, I am afraid that I am not a believer in such things. I was often told that my late father was watching me and looking over me and his grandchildren... what a cruel thing to subject him to if this were true. To watch his family go through the pain and grief of their loss - who would wish that upon anyone?
  I will a sceptic in these matters until I have firm proof to the contrary.

  I hope that sharing your experiences and thoughts with us here will help you. Take care.
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  14

  no kids policy

  by Daisymay in

  1. social
  2. family

  has anyone else heard of the org.

  convincing couples not to have children since this world is so "evil" and armagedon was coming so soon and why not wait until after it is over?.

  many new couples were told this and those families that kept conceiving were talked about behind their backs.... daisy

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  individuals wife

  I heard that this policy was about in the 1940s, the JWs were encouraged (or told) to not have children in this system but to wait for the new one to come. I just wonder how many couples now regret heeding that advice and are left childless in their old age. Real shame.

  I always felt that the society didnt particularly like children anyway, there was always the feeling that the kids should be seen and not heard, unless they were up on the platform doing an item on the school. They had to sit quietly, listen, take notes, colouring in was frowned upon, worldly story books in the hall were definitely a no no. How could a child be expected to look at the Childrens Book of Bible Stories week after week after week and not get fed up?

  They could not mix with 'worldly' kids - too much danger of them having fun, no out of school clubs - Brownies - no chance, Guides - got to be joking, football club - cant be competitive. What did they have to look forward to - field service.... the embarressment of having to call on their school friends when they should be out playing footie in the park.

  The elders used to look on with horror as all the little kids came into the hall to go out on the service during the school holidays... well, what else were we to do with them? The elders used to hate having to drag other peoples kids around. One made his displeasure blatently obvious one day, never ever took them out with me again.

  I was also very surprised at the lack of enthusiasm in the congregation when a sister became pregnant - I'm sure the elders just saw it as an extra burden, another bawling baby at the back of the hall.

  Poor kids, what we put them through. I just hope that now I have left my kids will grow up happy and well balanced. I'm sure they have a better chance now that they are given the freedom to be themselves.
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  2

  Precious Things

  by individuals wife in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i was feeling very low today as i realised it is now nearly six years since my wonderful father passed away.

  he was only 42 and meant so much to me, i still think about him every day, and it still hurts so much that i cant just pick up the phone and talk to him, pop over to his house with cream cakes or just sit down by the sea and talk over my problems with him.. the jws are responsible for making my grief just that little bit worse, when i was studying with them they told me to get rid of anything in the house that would be displeasing to god, in my desire to do what was required of me i searched through the house, got rid of some bible literature and some other little odds and ends.... also my cruxifix.

  i now regret that so much, it was one of the only things that my father ever gave to me just from him, not from my mother also.. how i regret that now, if only i could turn the clock back and stop myself, i was so eager to do what i was told, to make sure i was in a good standing with god.

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  individuals wife

  I was feeling very low today as I realised it is now nearly six years since my wonderful father passed away. He was only 42 and meant so much to me, I still think about him every day, and it still hurts so much that I cant just pick up the phone and talk to him, pop over to his house with cream cakes or just sit down by the sea and talk over my problems with him.

  The JWs are responsible for making my grief just that little bit worse, when I was studying with them they told me to get rid of anything in the house that would be displeasing to God, in my desire to do what was required of me I searched through the house, got rid of some bible literature and some other little odds and ends.... also my cruxifix. I now regret that so much, it was one of the only things that my father ever gave to me just from him, not from my mother also.

  How I regret that now, if only I could turn the clock back and stop myself, I was so eager to do what I was told, to make sure I was in a good standing with God. How foolish.

  I know that a simple necklace is not as important as the wonderful memories that I have of my dad, no-one could ever take those away from me, but I just wish that I had something special of his to keep and maybe pass on to my children. Something that I could hold in my hand and get warm fuzzy feelings from.

  I wonder just how many items of sentimental value or even monetary value for that matter have been lost over the years because of their teachings, how many 'demon-possessed' items found their way into the rubbish bin, how many 'items of false worship', how many precious things like mine?
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  11

  Raised as JW

  by ReverendRoy in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  as a former jehovah's witness i can both empathize and sympathize with you and the many others that have written here.

  i apologize for the long post.

  although i have posted this under a different heading, commie chris recommended a new toipic, thanks!.

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  individuals wife

  ReverendRoy - A big welcome first of all, good to have you here!

  I was very moved by your post especially -

  However, when my mother told me that I was the reason my then 1-year-old daughter was going to die, I could no longer take any more. How dare they tell me that the God they believed was all knowing, loving and caring was going to kill my daughter in this “time of the end” because of me or at all.

  This brought back memories of what an elder said to my husband a few years ago - Do you realise that if you leave you are giving your children a death sentence? That remark has always stuck with us as it was such a cruel thing to say, we knew that our children were the most important thing in our lives and we would never do anything to hurt them. It was just emotional blackmail of the worst kind. To use the children in that way, as a persuasive lever was disgusting. Needless to say - we no longer attend the meetings.

  I really hated the way the society viewed the children, should be seen and not heard, unless they were doing an item up on the platform. Sit still and dont fidget. Dont play with those worldly kids. No after school activities. Field service instead of playing. A real shame, they miss out on a lot. I know that my kids are a lot happier now and will hopefully grow up to be unprejudiced and well balanced grown ups, something that seems to be lacking amongst so many JWs.

  Nice to have you here!
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  6

  Life on Mars, Again!

  by metatron in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  over at yahoo news , it quotes a nasa scientist as.

  saying that they misplaced data from the viking.

  lander on mars twenty five ago.

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  individuals wife

  Just read this today on Teletext page 316 in the UK..... thought it was along the same lines as the above.....

  'BUGS' Prove Life in Space
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  Living extraterrestrial bugs have been caught on the edge of the atmosphere, scientists have disclosed.

  The microbes resemble bacteria found on Earth but the height at which they were found and their distribution indicates they fell from space, say scientists.

  If the findings are confirmed it will be the first unequivocal proof that life exists beyond the Earth.

  So what do you reckon to that then?? Would be interested to what the JWs have to say about this..... Life does not exist only on the earth as they claim. To me this is very compelling evidence that there is extraterrestrial life, maybe not little green men but still just as exciting! I await more information with excitement!
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  12

  New member

  by scotland in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i've been checking out this forum for a while now, and decided it was time to become a member.

  anxious to begin adding my 2-cents worth.

  good day to all.

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  individuals wife

  Scotland - Good to have you here amongst us, it really is a great place to come, you know you are in good company!

  I know you will gain a lot from becoming part of it all and not just sitting on the sidelines, I know I have!

  Welcome Aboard!
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  43

  The C.O. and elder came to my house last night!

  by Sarah in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  please tell me i made the right decision.

  last night the co and another elder showed up at our house just 5 minutes after my husband got home from work (i think they were sitting on the side of the road just waiting for him to come home)*stalkers*, anyway to make along story short, the pressure was on.

  i felt like they were there to get us to da ourselves.

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  individuals wife

  Dearest Sarah,

  My heart really went out to you when I read your post - I am so pleased that you chose to share your experience with us in the realisation that you are not alone and you will find comfort here.

  What can I say that hasn't already been said? Just be there for each other, talk to each other, don't keep things bottled up. My husband was a real tower of strength for me when we both left, I'm not sure that I would have coped so well if he wasn't behind me wholeheartedly.
  One thing that we found useful and constructive was to go away for a weekend, it may seem like running away but for us it was a chance to re-evaluate our lives, put things in perspective and give us the strength to move on.

  I hope you believe me when I say there is life after the organisation, a better life. Go for it and try not to look back.
  Best wishes to you both xxxxxxxxxxxx